Sunday, 11 September 2016

Changed forever

The past two days have been full of gratitude, prayers of thanks and celebrations (with resting in between, I promise).

I started writing a few posts to put down my thoughts about what, at that time, was our new reality. It was very difficult to write about (especially when it didn't feel real and I was struggling to admit it was the truth) and reading over things again makes me even more grateful and just lost for words. I will post them soon.

I first want to write about the lessons we have learned from this journey.

Our miracle means that I will not need radiotherapy and I will also not need 6 monthly CT scans and MRIs for the rest of my life. It also means that I will not die in the next 5-10 years!

A friend suggested we celebrate the 9th September as a new birthday and I think we will (it is also my parents wedding anniversary). The day I was given back my life. We will have a huge party in 10 years time!

In fact I think I will feel like celebrating every year, every day even, to celebrate being with John and having the gift of getting to raise our girls.

When it came down to it that was all I wanted.

All I wanted was to raise and be there for my beautiful girls and to grow old with John.

Elle is 2 (3 in November) and Kate turned 1 in July (she is 14 months today). The thought of 5 or 10 years was an impossible one, one I could not even entertain. I kept thinking if I could make it until they're grown, until they're adults with lives of their own, I would be happy. And then I would think about their children and who would be there to take care of them when they have babies, and a million other things, and it just wasn't enough.

As John and I talked through things, changed our plans and our priorities, this is what mattered most, actually this is ALL that mattered:

  • Time together as a family
  • Raising happy, kind, considerate and intelligent girls
  • Time with our extended families

That's it! Nothing more.

And this made us change things. John changed all his plans for his medical career. We thought about where we want to raise the girls, where we can create happy, lasting memories, how we can pay off student debt quickly so we can have flexibility to go where we want and do what we want, together. I'll be forever grateful for the sacrifices John made and was willing (and still is willing) to make.

We are having new discussions now and the great thing is that even though I have my life back our priorities are the same and maybe our new plans will remain just that. Our new plans.

You see, life will never be the same for so many reasons. And now all them are good ones!

Here we are yesterday, at the beach, getting some family time and sunshine. Our first picture to celebrate no cancer.

1 comment:

  1. This is beautiful Rach. Thanks for the inspiring words

    Katie xx